Jeremiah 29:11

One of my favorite Bible verses has always been Jeremiah 29:11- "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

I realize that this is also one of the most popular verses for many people. Everyone stops after verse 11, but I love it all the way down through verse 14. The rest is so revelatory!

12 "Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.
13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
14 I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile."

wow... i that is just sooo great!!

I don't know why, even though it's my favorite, this has also been one of the hardest for me to wrap my mind around. Perhaps if the first part of God's sentence read "For I know the plans I have for you, and you don't." it would resonate a little more in my day to day life.

I don't know what compelled me to write a facebook note. As a general rule, I would like to do pretty much anything that does not include studying for the Florida Trusts part of the bar exam right now.

So here I am.

Recently, I've been very blessed to know the joy of talking to a friend about the many many many questions they have about God, and who He is, and what He wants, and what that looks like, and why He does the things He does, and why He lets the things happen that we wish wouldn't. I was initially nervous at the idea of being someone who would be faced with some potentially hard questions. What if I didn't have an answer? What if I had the wrong answer? I don't know. Anyway, like i said, it has truly been a blessing to be able to share in this friend's journey.

I am not worried about being "that girl" and trying to steer the conversation places people don't feel comfortable with, in fact, I am being approached to talk about these very things.

It's mind blowing. I'm not that girl.

But here I am trying to explain God's ways to someone. How humbling.

That certainly wasn't part of my plan. I just can't believe that God is able to use such a variety of characters to tell His story. God is planning for us all, to prosper us, to give us hope. To be a light when all other lights have gone out.

This blows my mind.

But the funny thing is, I am happy. I no longer feel like I'm living this life of trying to appease God or meet a standard for God or meet God half way. He has put things on my heart, and the more I trust Him with these scary things, the more He shows me the joy that can come from living my life this way. I am not worried that I recently graduated from law school, earned a doctorate degree and am yet STILL unemployed. I am not worried that my student loans will be due soon or that i have to take the bar exam (the hardest exam i will ever face) in about 20 days, or that I have to move out of my house in 28 days and have no idea where to move, or even what part of the state I will live in next month. Has there been food on my plate? A roof above my head? Friends to share things with? An incredible family full of people who i love and respect more each and every day? Yes!

Last week I was able to give a bunch of furniture and household items, food, and clothing to a family that I know needs these items more than I do. I was overjoyed at being able to give up a part of what I have been given. The mother wanted to pay me back somehow, but I told her it would be a huge service to me if she did not. I asked her to repay someone else she knew. Even at that I felt let down...what I should have communicated is that I'm giving this to her because I believe that there is a God who loves her and is offering her His love for free! I wanted to tell her that I do not wish to bring glory to myself through the gifts that I have been blessed with from God.
But i just told her to pay someone else back.

I'm getting into tangent territory here.

Okay. So I didn't exactly communicate the whole part of my intent for giving away these items, but I am at least happy that God is taking my heart to a place it has never been before. Even as I type this, I cannot wait for the next opportunity I will get to be a blessing to someone who cannot bless me back.

Isn't that what we're called to? We have been loved by a God who can gain nothing from our love. The only response I can think of is to attempt a crude impression with how I live my life.


Also, since this is a new blog, i've decided to end each entry with a random photo, so here's the first: (my baby brother, Adam, and i on his wedding day 10/24/09)